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Bringing Reproach to Jehovah. They can actually question things. If we got married. Thoughts that went through my mind. What they really thought of me.
What they told me and what they really mean. They want to make and keep you vulnerable. Science vs New Light. Hit the nail squarely on the head. Witness family, no matter how weird or toxic, still in the picture, non-Witness family, no matter how nice or helpful, not really in the picture, generally speaking. I still feel stupid when I think back and didn't think about or notice these things back then.
Its why I got really defensive for a couple of years after me and my ex broke up and people talked about my time studying and going to meetings. Its one of many reasons people struggle to wake up too. For sure part of what made me feel bad about it is that I thought I was smarter than that. It could never happen to ME. Ahhhh, the prideful folly of youth. I believe during the Wife of Lot video, the wife invites non-JW family over.
And her hubsand has a telling moment when he says something like, "Why? They are not interested in Jehovah. This thought, I believe, is echoed in a talk at this year's convention about limiting association with non-JW family who has not interest in the religion. Personally, I was third generation. On occasion, my grandmother's non-JW family visited every once in a blue moon. Of course, my grandfather used that occasion to "witness". But by and large, most of my non-JW family are strangers to me. I never knew them Today it is hard for me to reach out to them because they are pure strangers.
I don't them them from any other person. Nor do I feel connected to them. Like all cults, JWs separate families. Or at least, they create a gulf which grows with each new generation. I never watched the lot videos or any other convention video. If I had time to watch those, I would rather catch up on my Netflix queue that I can't seem to make a dent in. One thing I noticed pretty quickly was how they kept on saying you didn't have to give up your family that leaves the religion, you just have to keep them seprate from spiritual matters.
The problem was that they tried to make every moment spent with family spiritual so you had to cut out non-JW members. Then again, that was back then and it seems they have become more obvious about the whole shunning thing. I have my mother's non-JW sisters and my cousins only about an hour's drive away from where I currently live. The thing is though it is really hard to find the motivation to reconnect with people you saw only a few times nearly 20 years ago. There is simply no bond even though we are related.
So many triggers while reading your post.
- dating site for people in recovery.
- mobile dating app for blackberry;
- Non Jw Dating a JW;
I remember early in my studies my teacher said I would hear from non believers that JWs break up families. I was told not to believe it. But eventually I realized that I was distancing myself from my friends. It happened so slowly, like the frog in the pot. At one point I was afraid to tell a friend that I was dating a JW. My teacher tried to convince me to cut off my relationship with my kids who were never JWs.
The Dating Game: How Jehovah's Witnesses Meet their Match - SPIEGEL ONLINE
She would suggest manipulative ways to try to recruit them. I went to a meeting still crying and heartbroken because my daughter had moved out to go to school miles away. My teacher was so happy to hear that she was away. In hindsight I realize my teacher was only happy when I was sad or depressed. When something good happened to me, naturally I wanted to share it.
In normal relationships we tell our friends and family.
At the time I considered my teacher my best friend. Whenever I shared something good with her she would immediately pout and get snippy with me instead of being happy for me or with me. I already mentioned this in this sub already: I was terrified and heartbroken when my son was deployed to Afghanistan. I told my teacher how scared I was for him.
He agreed that they were being horrible. The hens treat me the same way. I saw it happen with my Ex's worldly friends when she decided to become a better JW as well. I didn't notice when it was happening either. Yeah, I've talked about that as well. They have the most success with people that are going through tough times and they like to keep you troubled and vulnerable. They hand wave away legitimate problems and make problems out of things that aren't.
If the Org was a person, it would be classic abuser behavior. I went to a pretty liberal and easy going congregation. At least compared to the ones measured on here, and I still noticed everything in my posts. I've also written a response to JWs that claim their hall isn't that bad. Nobody that hears about such a strict and over the top hall will ever do anything about it. No matter how many times they make their members cry or worse. Nobody will ask an Elder or CO about it.
No one will write to Bethel. They don't actually think their actually that bad because Jehovah's Organization or they don't want that congregations zealous culture to bleed into their own and make things worse.
If its known that another congregation's children have Harry Potter merchandise, they might get a talking to though. You said if the Org were a person, it would be classic abuser behavior. My first husband non JW was an abuser. Even though I had gone to domestic violence counseling and was shown the chart about what constitutes abuse I failed to apply it to the B0rg. In hindsight I see it definitely was abuse. Regarding the liberal behavior I remember being out in service with some stuck up gossipy hens. The CO and some of the favorite men went out for drinks. CO got pretty hammered.