Dating a borderline personality disorder

You may wonder whether you should let them borrow money again or answer the dozens of voicemails they left on your phone.

Dealing with borderline personality disorder requires skills for deescalating crises and fostering independence in your loved one. With the right tools and community strategies, it is possible to help your loved one towards recovery. Only a doctor or mental health professional can officially provide an official diagnosis of a personality disorder, but there are several key symptoms you can observe that might indicate a person has BPD.

Distorted Borderline Perceptions and Damaging Patterns

Some studies suggest that there is a genetic component, meaning the disorder can be hereditary. Hostile family environments, childhood abuse and neglect, and separation from caregivers can also increase the risk. Some research indicates BPD can emerge when parts of the brain that help regulate emotions and aggressive impulses are not functioning well.

Psychotherapy, otherwise known as talk therapy, can be incredibly valuable for treating BPD. In addition to learning about the signs and symptoms of the disorder, individuals can gain skills for managing difficult emotions, developing and maintaining relationships, reducing impulsive decision-making, and improving daily functioning. The therapy helps people change unhealthy patterns of behavior by becoming more mindful about the emotions and reactions they are experiencing in the moment. To date there are no drugs approved by the FDA that have been specifically created to treat personality disorders.

However, some people find that medications can help reduce anxiety or impulsivity in individuals.

Finding Peace Amongst the Turmoil

These might include antidepressants, mood-stabilizers, and antipsychotic medications. If an individual with BPD experience intense symptoms, such as self-injury or physically harming others, they may be in need of inpatient treatment at a hospital or other residential program. People with BPD benefit from a home environment that is calm and relaxed. All involved family members including a boyfriend or girlfriend should know not to discuss important issues when the individual is in crisis mode.

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Stop to take a breath yourself when they do become emotionally reactive. People with BPD should have opportunities to talk about their interests and thoughts about the news, family events, and other leisure activities.

Take the time to laugh at a funny joke or eat dinner together several times a week. Still, to Paddy, it is worth it. But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD. My girlfriend is not a burden, her BPD is. For most, it may hold little that feels inspirational. Hearing someone else share your struggles and negotiate the realities of the illness can be both comforting and illuminating. Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability, and interpersonal relationships are often the stage on which this instability plays out.

Barbara Greenberg , a clinical psychologist who treats patients with BPD, explains:. Often, this emptiness and intense fear of abandonment are the result of early childhood trauma and the absence of secure, healthy attachments in the vital formative years. Paradoxically, the overwhelming fear manifests in behaviors that deeply disrupt the relationship and pushes partners away rather than pulls them closer, resulting in a stormy and tumultuous dynamic that typically emerges in the early days of dating.

When they are in relationships they get very intensely involved way too quickly.


  • Passion and Fear in BPD Relationships.
  • dating rules texting guys!
  • cherryblossom onlinedating?
  • Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.
  • j media uk dating.

But then what comes along with it, a couple of weeks later, is: Everything is done with passion, but it goes from being very happy and passionate to very disappointed and rageful. In my efforts to keep him, I resolve never to be the first one to text him, to invite him to do something, to talk to him at all. I test him, gage his behavior, wait for him to do or say something to convince me he still likes me or the other way around. His cute little gestures produce only temporary bliss on my part.

We endure many an awkward silence.

The Cycle of Dating I Go Through as Someone With BPD | The Mighty

He begins to pull away, and all of my greatest fears are validated. Sometimes, out of sheer desperation, this is when I open up about a few things. Historically, this has never done anything to preserve the relationship. He leaves anyway and, after a good cry, my emotions suddenly shut down.

Signup for our FREE eNewsletter

Sooner or later though, emptiness makes way for rage. What am I going to do about it? Even if it means dragging myself through the agonizing process of trial and error a hundred times over.